What’s working?

A little orchid love from the Lyman Plant House

I don't know about you but I've been feeling lots of feels lately. It's been quite a mix. Some days this winter I have felt so settled and aligned, sometimes even almost blissful in my sense of clarity. And just when I think I must finally have things all figured out, I have days where I'm so scattered and frustrated with myself. And mixed in with all this of course is being really, really angry and astonished at how screwed up everything in the broader world is.

I'm finding that many of the folks I talk with are experiencing a similar mix. People who come into my craniosacral practice will be seeking help for chronic pain, anxiety, or stress-related issues. But at the same time they'll also very clearly express their understanding of what's happening for them in ways that are very grounded and self-compassionate. Or they'll come in describing being in a very tight and difficult feeling place, and then two or three weeks later they'll be back feeling much lighter, at peace with what's happening in their lives, or at least far more able to manage.

I find myself asking them – and myself – the same thing over and over. What helped? What are you finding that's working?

As craniosacral therapists, we're trained to focus on and relate to the healing wisdom inherent in every living being – that part of us that knew how to grow from an embryo into a human adult and that still knows how to recover and heal from illness and injury. Noticing and appreciating what we're doing that helps us feel how we want to feel is one great way to do that.

There are plenty of days where I don't feel like anything is working! But if I can really notice and take it in when some deep breathing or some gentle rocking on the floor actually helps me soften both my body and my thoughts, or when a walk or – with this recent weather! – an indoor climbing session, shifts my mood, it can really rebuild my confidence for the days when I feel stuck with a grumpy self.

Try this: Appreciate what works

When you catch yourself feeling "better", whatever better might mean for you – it might be more grounded or more energized or more patient or more clear – take a few moments to just take that in. "How great. Sometimes I really feel much more the way I want to feel." Just those moments of recognition and appreciation can themselves be healing.

And then ask yourself: what helped me get here? Did you try something different today? Did you receive a kind word from a friend or a stranger? Did you speak to yourself in a different way?

This isn't so much an analytical "figuring it out so I can do it again" thing. For better or worse, we aren't usually that replicable. It's more of a drinking it in. It can be really encouraging to notice, especially when we've been feeling frustrated with ourselves or trapped in a mood that feels harmful, that some of the things we try actually work, and that even small things sometimes do make a difference.

Just this noticing can shift our level of confidence in ourselves and our capacity for well-being. And that confidence and self-regard can be part of the mix that makes a difference the next time.